Updating with Laughter

Rob Davis · Post by **Rob Davis** » Wed, Jul 22 2009, 9:53AM

I was updating my eCabinets when my wife commented about good thing Thermwood hasn't gotten into updating Wife 1.0 with newer models. It reminded me of the old Husband 1.0 letter which we had a good laugh about once I retrieved it. Thought I'd share if you've never read it. And if you have, it is still good for a laugh.

Installing A Husband

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate

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Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Many have stabilized the system by running the audio command: "I Thought You Loved Me.exe" along with downloading Tears 6.2 ; that allows you access to install the update Guilt 8.0 [from the standard 3.5 version that you have]. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.1 and Flowers 5.0.
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that activates the Belching & Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 and has even been known to scramble your (sensitive) E:\motional properties, which really effects your Main Drive.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0, Sports 4.3 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Best of Luck,